Sibling Rivalry

Growing up we were allowed to fight.  I'm not quite sure why.  If we went to mom then we were tattle tales and then got womped more the next time.  It seems like, from my memories, that it was a love-hate relationship with my siblings.  Or a jealousy thing.  Or a power struggle.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.             James 4:1-3 New International Version (NIV)

Last night at youth group I saw some siblings "fighting" they were waging war together against an unknown enemy...they were playing together.  Then I saw siblings waging war against each other.  I asked them to stop it and another kid (who has 2 siblings) said, their just siblings...that's what they do.  Another group of siblings were near him and just shook their heads in approval.

Say it ain't so!

When we fought, I'm sad to confess it, I was the leader of it for part of the time.  I fought with it's my way or the highway!  I'm the oldest of 6.  And a lot of the time (well they would probably all say all of the time) I acted like it.  I was (am) bossy and I know now that I can use this power of being the oldest for their good or for mine.  In my BC (before Christ) days...it was all about me.  I am confident of that.  Nowadays it is a struggle between what's in it for me and what's in it for them?  I wish I could say that it isn't a struggle, but I don't believe it will be that way until I'm in heaven.  This side of heaven it's a choice still.  

I'm sad that I acted more like a mom last night at youth group and simply made the kids stop quarreling with one another and didn't have a more relational way of handling it.  I'm sad that they war against each other.  I wish that I could better explain that it doesn't have to be that way when both siblings love Jesus....they should be able to love each other....

...but then again, shouldn't we be able to do that with anyone who loves Jesus?

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.             James 4:1-3 New International Version (NIV)

Lemon Balm

I've decided (with the help of my husband) that I should buy plants that will either come back the next year, or have some other value to them.  So now I try to only buy perennials and fruit and veggies.  I do buy geranium every year though.  I love the stuff.  It is an annual here in Idaho.  I try to bring it inside during the winter, but I don't always have success with it.  I miss the big bushes that would grow in So. California.


I also like plants that I don't have to work with too much. I prune it, shape it and let it go.  I don't like to micromanage much in my life so I definitely don't like to micromanage my garden...I want it to be OK by itself for awhile.  That isn't really the case.  I really should weed more often, but then again, it is working for now.  It never is the best looking garden, but I like it.


I bought 3 blueberry bushes!  I really like blueberries and I wanted some bushes....so I bought them. I wanted to put them on the fence border to fill in the spaces between a few other bushes (that are only nice looking, but bear no edible fruit).  Dave thought that they'd be better in my "flower garden".  It really only is a flower garden for part of the summer. I let it get overrun with lemon balm and other stuff and then since I don't like to micromanage (weed) I just let it go.  Every spring I have a mess to contend with.  I agreed with him that we should have an easier way to manage the side flower garden so I consented to putting the blueberry bushes there. 


First, though, I had to take out the lemon balm.  Boy is that being a task and a half!  My friends, the Mighty Mungers, came over tonight and brought a huge victory.  I still need to dig in and dig out the roots.  I am confident that no matter how much I did it out, I will always have lemon balm there.  I don't mind it, but I just need to keep it in check better.  My friends did a great job of helping me with the big stuff.  Together we were able to do more than I would have done by myself.  I know that for a fact because I spent over an hour this past weekend and only got maybe 1/5 of it done.  In the past hour the rest is gone.  Well the rest above ground, and some of the root balls.

Dave and I and
3 of the Mighty Munger crew

As I was wrestling with the roots I was reminded again how I need to keep things in my life in check.  Even good things (the lemon balm smells good and is really pretty, I think) can take over and become the focus of my life, when I know that shouldn't be so.  Sometimes I need friends who will come along side me and help me take care of some big stuff.  But I know that I'll have to dig down deep to get at the stuff that is under the surface.

Hebrews 12:1-3

New International Version (NIV)

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Bikes and Baskets and early morning Volunteering

I was intrigued by Bountiful Baskets so 3 weeks ago Dave and I ordered a basket.  When we went to the pick up site, being "newbies"  we felt foolish and didn't know what to do.  The volunteers were very helpful and when they told us that we got 2 baskets I knew we got a good thing!  One had veggies and one had fruit (I didn't figure that one out until the next week).  The next Saturday we did the same thing, just at a different location.  We needed to go really early so we did.  I liked the smallness of the 2nd location.  Dave liked the openness and bigness of the first location.  I think eventually we'll compromise and go to a location nearer to us.

One of these Saturdays I'd like to ride my bike to pick up the goods!  I live close to several sites (although I haven't thought to order early enough to pick it up there).  I might try this next Saturday.  Don't know yet though.  It's a little harder eating all the goods since Dave is gone to Togo.  I'll have to see how it goes.

This Saturday (tomorrow) I'm actually go to volunteer.  My home-stay daughter needs to get some more volunteer hours in so I told her that we could go early to help.  I didn't really think that she'd want to get up that early, but she said "sure" so off we go tomorrow with a very early start.  We'll see how this goes.

I made this and it was fabulous!  Pioneer Woman's Perfect Iced Coffee In fact I'm drinking it right now while writing this post.  You should really try it!

Missionary Training part 302-B...Serving as a Sender

It's been a long time since I went to Mexico for the first time to help with a Vacation Bible School with the rest of my youth group.  I think I was in charge of crafts.

When I went to college I was part of group that would go down to an orphanage in Tijuana with our professor to play with the kids, do odd jobs around the property and do special days for them, like a Christmas party.

I met Dave during this time.  When we were dating and in our early marriage we weren't sure if we would someday go on the mission field, but we believed (and still do) that no matter what, God calls us to be faithful and obedient to him right where we are.

We would hear the stories from the missionaries when they returned from the field.  They would tell of normal stuff that would happen, but the thing that stood out was their perspective of it all.  It was that they knew, they really knew that God was in charge.  And when God is in charge there is never a mistake.  That somehow this tough situation would bring Him glory.

Since Dave and I wanted to be faithful and obedient where we were (are) right then (now) we took on this mindset as much as we could remember to do it.  When something hard or tough came up we would say, "this is missionary training part....". We would make up a number...like a course number in college.

Dave loves the church.  Not the building, but working with the people who the Bible calls "the body of Christ". I know that's a weird saying, but it's a great analogy.  He loves equipping the people at church for their work in the ministry.

I love Dave.  I have never known for sure whether we should have taken a huge step of faith and gone out as missionaries, but this one thing I know:  I need to be faithful and obedient where I am right now. Right now I live in Idaho, married to Dave, serving in a church here.

About 4 years ago I realized that all this "training" was probably equipping Dave and I to be "senders".  A sender is someone who can come alongside a "goer", aka missionary and lend some kind of support.  A sender promotes missions in their local church.  A sender normal doesn't go and that is OK with them.  So our training jargon left our vocabulary and we just got busy being senders instead.  We have poured a lot of our lives into this. We read and study on the subject.  We try to teach others and spur them on to see that our world is smaller than what it looks like. I learned that there are 80 different languages spoken in the valley I live in.

Dave with some of his teammates
getting ready for their flight to Paris

Dave and I worked really hard this past year to be senders for a team that is now in Paris heading to Lome, Togo, West Africa.  Their end destination is Mango.  Dave was needed on the team so he went.  And I stayed.

Missionary Training part .....Staying and manning some technology so that others may know what is going on  in another land; being an encouragement to the wives and families of the guys that went, even when one of the guys is my guy.

Our friends are going to move to Mango.  In fact, the team might be working on their house.  She stayed and he went.  He went for many reasons and she stayed for many reasons...mostly all logistical, what made the most sense.

Having Dave gone (it's only been a day, I'm such a wimp) makes me understand what its like for those that are close to the "goers".  They know it is important, but it isn't always easy.  Dave is always on my mind. I'm probably not on his.  It's not that I love him more, it's just that my life is normal, but he's not there...so it's a little awkward normal.  His life right now is all new.  He just landed in Paris and he's never been there before.  He's probably exploring and keeping up with the team.  He'll keep on in this pattern for the whole time that he is gone. He has a work to do there in Mango.  He'll be busy.  He'll think of me, but probably won't be reminded  of me by anything there since we've not been there together.  I am reminded again that the ones that stay and send need to remember that the most import thing is to be faithful and obedient right where you are right now.  Whether to you stay or go it does not matter.


But Samuel replied:

“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
    as much as in obeying the Lord?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
    and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

1 Samuel 15:22 New International Version (NIV)

Date Night!

Dave and I have been dating since February 15, 1986.  It might be said that our first date was before this (he went with me to my prom), but on February 10, 1986 Dave officially asked me on our first date.  We've been dating ever since.  Along our dating journey we got married, had a  kid, graduated college, had some more kids, moved many places, lived in many different types of homes, our kids grew up, went to school, a few have gotten married and still we date each other.

I teach at a great high school in town.  The kids asked me if I was going to their (you name it sport) event.  I said no because I had a date.  They asked if Mr. Duron knew about this....of course he did...he's the one that asked me out.

Dave is on his way to Togo.  He's stopped in Salt Lake City at the airport finding some "healthy" food for dinner.  When he gets settled we'll have a date.  Of course this date will be long distance, but that is what we have right now.  We were going to go on a little "brunch date" this morning, but then we had "one more thing to do" before he left...so we are dating via iphones!

We date because:
1) it is a chance to reconnect
2) it keeps us from taking each other for granted
3) we enjoy each other's company
4) we work on different parts of our relationship (we want a strong healthy marriage)
5) we like each other

Our dates have been really fancy, but most of them are simple.  We bike ride.  We rent a movie.  We go to eat.  We play a board game and drink some coffee.

What kind of dates do you like?  Why do you date?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Tired on a Tuesday

Changing "I had to" to "I got to"...

⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh,

from the flesh will reap destruction;

whoever sows to please the Spirit, 

from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 

⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, 

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, 

let us do good to all people, 

especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Galatians 6:8-10New International Version (NIV)

Today was one of those days that seems to last forever.  It's like one of those international flights...you know that one that you have a day for two days...literally....the date doesn't change.

Days like today remind me of God's grace and mercy in my life.  How He never tires.  How His love is everlasting.

He is my strength.  He is my source of life. He guides and directs me in His word, the Bible. He provides all I need for life and right living.  He is my God.

Today, God showed me how He demonstrates His love for me how he creatively gives me the desires of my heart.

Today I got to...

1) hang out with kids from both campuses during morning duty

2) hang out with my students and help them finish well

3) hear from my missions class what God is doing and has done in the lives of missionaries from or to countries that they have been studying

4) hang out with 7th graders and our great nurse at school during jr. high lunch duty

5) have one more lunch with Dave before he leaves for Togo

6) hang out with more of my students for the rest of the day

7) watch our school's mentor/mentee program at it's best as I chaperoned their end of year event

8) hang out with some great ladies from my church as we plan and prepare for upcoming events and praise God for how He answered prayers way beyond what we had thought of praying in the past few events

9) take a quick walk home

10) enjoy a wonderful dinner with my family

11) FaceTime with Kirsten at Starbucks with Dave

12) treat Stella to ice cream as we met up with a team member for more encouragement cards

13) sort out and carefully pack up all the cards from our "moral support" part of our Togo Team (part of the senders)

14) hang out with a friend who stopped by really quick to give me a few more notes

15) finish helping Dave pack for his trip

Looking back on all of it I would say that it was a full day full of people.  It reminds me once again of community and the importance of pursuing people for relationship.

I don't ever want to grow weary in doing good.  One thing that helps me not grow weary is remembering to be thankful for it all. Another thing is changing the words that I use...instead of "I have to" I try to say "I get to".  This simple change of one word changes my perspective and reminds me that the weariness is only temporary.

(Wow...I started this on Tuesday and now it's Wednesday...maybe I should re-title the blog to read "Weary on a Wednesday"...it's definitely time for me to go to bed)

Simply Sunday

....Trying to take it easy on a Sunday afternoon....

This is Dave.  He's been my been best friend since we met in 1984.  He's been my love of my life almost that long. Dave and I met on a trip to Mexico where my church and his school went with Azusa Pacific University to Mexicali, Mexico to tell others about Jesus and the life He lived.  It was called Vacation Bible School.  It was fun and life changing.  On Wednesday Dave leaves for Togo, West Africa to help build part of a hospital or some houses...well something... if you want to check out his team's journeys check out "Serving as Senders".  The whole time that we dated we always talked about living around the world.  Life hasn't quite happened that way.  We've seen so many of our friends move around the world.  Our kids want to do that too.  I think that we will probably keep encouraging those guys.  This trip is like that.  We thought that we would both just encourage the team, help out with team meetings, help with some creative fundraising.  Then an opportunity came up for Dave to go!  I'm so happy for him that he gets to hang out with the team that he has been working so long to encourage.

Dave's favorite thing to do on Sunday afternoons is to take a nap.  Most Sunday's he doesn't get a nap.  Naps are great!  Dave can take a 15 minute cat nap and call it good, but his favorite nap is that 1-1.5 hour nap that we wakes up refreshed and ready for the rest of the day.  Not me.  I don't really nap well.  Most of the time I feel cranky and would rather skip the nap and simply go to bed early.

Dave and baby Elsie, May 2011

 Most of the time though when others are napping Dave is spending his Sundays with people.  Last Sunday he married a cute older couple.  Then went to the store to get supplies for the Togo trip.  Then he was back at church for a  Togo meeting.  You see, Dave is a pastor.  Sundays are long days for him.  He still tries to get in a nap, but most of the time he trades it for time with people.

Dave and baby Elsie, April 2012

Since Dave leaves in 3 days he spent today with me, David & Amber, Heewon and Stella (2 sweet Korean high school girls who live with us this school year).  We had a great meal.  After David & Amber left we went to the post office and  mailed our Mother's day presents to our moms, then we headed over to get some Hawaiian shaved ice (they just opened!  yay!), but they were closed (so sad) so we got some frozen yogurt (yay!) then over to the store for a quick trip for supplies for Teacher Appreciation week (it starts tomorrow at our school).  By the time we were done Dave was back at church.  I spent some time in our quiet house (the girls were studying) and updated the missions blog.  Then we joined Dave at church for some fantastic worship by the worship guys (it was all guitars...just awesome) and great preaching by our Senior Pastor, Pastor Randy.  He just finished up teaching us about the book of Luke.

Tonight at church Dave looked really tired.  You know that tired that is a good tired, but still you are ready to be done.  Tonight after church we got to hang out with the youth group.  I miss those guys!  I don't get to hang out so much anymore. This year has been really crazy so I needed to take Wednesdays off to be able to keep my home better in order.  I hope that next year I'll get to go back and hang out, aka help in youth group.  But tonight I went to the SNAC.  It was a really great way to end a Sunday.

PS....girls 2 guys 1 at 4 men on the couch....and no one cheated tonight!