"But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervant heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up." 2 Peter 3:10
What am I living for? Am I living for my job? My house? My garden? These will all pass away. These will be burned up!
What should I invest my time in? My husband! My kids! My students! PEOPLE! These will not be burned up.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Weakness
1We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." Romans 15:1-3 (New International Version)
One of my weaknesses is a fear of failure. That I just wouldn't measure up, be good enough, or literally fail. I'm not sure why this is a fear of mine, but it is and it is very real. Sometimes it rules my choices.
Another weakness of mine is that I'm ideal about the amount of time that it takes me to accomplish some things. And so I pack my day with "good things" and then fall exhausted in my bed with my to do list not really even started.
These two weaknesses collided this morning. Well, they've been on a path towards collison for at least a month. With everything else in my world I decided to take ANOTHER online class. (Now mind you I signed up for it before the first class when I figured out that I am not too good at online classes....I'm better with a teacher in 3D...I figured this out in my "learning styles" class :) ) It's the last day of the class and I'm going to fail because I kept forgetting about it.
I didn't tell Dave about the commitment to the class that I kept forgetting to do....well, mind you, I did remember: at midnight, while teaching my class, when my daughter was on the computer taking her online Spanish class with me helping her, etc. But during my day when I was doing normal things like shopping or laundry or cooking or reading my Bible I would forget and then work on something else instead of having one of the girls or Dave do those things so I could get my class done.
I can say with peace that the only regret I have for how I've invested my time in the past month is that I wasn't able to fit that online class in. I haven't really wasted much of my time when I could have been doing the class. I've invested it mostly in the people around me, the ones that are always there and the ones that come in and out of my life. I think it was worth it.
I asked Dave this morning if it was ok if I failed. He said yes. That was such a freeing word for him to give me this morning.
I love the fact that Dave loves me even in my weakness. He reflects God's love to me that I don't have to have it all together, I don't have to be perfect, I don't have to pass everything to earn his love.
In my weakness I can see Dave's love shine even more brightly. In my weakness I can see God's love poured out on me.
One of my weaknesses is a fear of failure. That I just wouldn't measure up, be good enough, or literally fail. I'm not sure why this is a fear of mine, but it is and it is very real. Sometimes it rules my choices.
Another weakness of mine is that I'm ideal about the amount of time that it takes me to accomplish some things. And so I pack my day with "good things" and then fall exhausted in my bed with my to do list not really even started.
These two weaknesses collided this morning. Well, they've been on a path towards collison for at least a month. With everything else in my world I decided to take ANOTHER online class. (Now mind you I signed up for it before the first class when I figured out that I am not too good at online classes....I'm better with a teacher in 3D...I figured this out in my "learning styles" class :) ) It's the last day of the class and I'm going to fail because I kept forgetting about it.
I didn't tell Dave about the commitment to the class that I kept forgetting to do....well, mind you, I did remember: at midnight, while teaching my class, when my daughter was on the computer taking her online Spanish class with me helping her, etc. But during my day when I was doing normal things like shopping or laundry or cooking or reading my Bible I would forget and then work on something else instead of having one of the girls or Dave do those things so I could get my class done.
I can say with peace that the only regret I have for how I've invested my time in the past month is that I wasn't able to fit that online class in. I haven't really wasted much of my time when I could have been doing the class. I've invested it mostly in the people around me, the ones that are always there and the ones that come in and out of my life. I think it was worth it.
I asked Dave this morning if it was ok if I failed. He said yes. That was such a freeing word for him to give me this morning.
I love the fact that Dave loves me even in my weakness. He reflects God's love to me that I don't have to have it all together, I don't have to be perfect, I don't have to pass everything to earn his love.
In my weakness I can see Dave's love shine even more brightly. In my weakness I can see God's love poured out on me.
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