Friday, August 1, 2014

The Back Story

In 1991 I was asked by my friend at work if I would be in her wedding.  It was the summer and I was expecting Bethany.  I agreed to it.  I liked my friend and her soon-to-be husband and I was honored to stand by her as she started this new phase in her life.

This picture has now resurfaced thanks to Facebook and it has over 50 likes and is climbing.  Oh, and comments too.  Way too many comments.  

Facebook sometimes forces me into the fishbowl more than I'd like to be.  It forces me to hear comments (well read them) that probably wouldn't be said to my face, but it is "safe" to write them on Facebook and maybe it will get a laugh from someone.

But every photo has a back story.

No, we weren't in Jr. High when we got married as several people commented.  In this picture we are 24 and expecting our 2nd child.  We were in a tough place in ministry and in a tough place to live.  We were in our 3rd year of marriage, still trying to figure life out together.  

Dave worked 3 jobs at the same time that year  so I could be a stay at home mom.  I was sick through a lot of my pregnancy.  We had moved away from our friends and my dream job to Dave's hometown after college.  I had culture shock.  Not just where we lived, but also my new lifestyle.  I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I just didn't really grasp what that would look like.  

I had worked since I was sixteen and was always studying.  First it was to get good grades in high school to be eligible for grants and scholarships that would help pay my way to college, then in college I studied to graduate and to keep those grants and scholarships.  Now I was staying home trying to make it a home.  I wasn't really trained for this.  I was trained to teach high school students math.  At work I had learned to be a good employee from selling fabric to tutoring to assisting my office managers both at the college financial aide office and at an insurance agency.  I didn't know what it meant to stay home and I didn't really know what it meant to be a mom.

Dave and I were married while we were both in the 2nd semester of our 4th year of college and enjoyed being married and going to college.  We finished up college that next year as 5th year college students.  During our last year of college I taught 3/4 time and took a few classes to graduate as Dave took a heavy load to finish his degree and worked part time.  God chose to bless us with David Jr. that school year as well.  I finished up with my degree in math in May '90, but my favorite part of the year was becoming a mom in April '90.

I guess some people would look at our life story and say we were foolish.  That we should have waited until after college to get married.  And that we should have waited until Dave had a great job and could provide a house before we started having kids.

But that's not our back story.  

This picture reminds me of a courageous man who daily sacrificially loved his wife very much. 

It reminds me of a scared woman who wasn't sure of herself most of the time. 

It reminds me of a gracious and loving God who is always there even when life gets hard.  

It reminds me of a time in my life that was so full of new beginnings: a new marriage for my friends; a new baby for us.  

It reminds me of a time that feels so long ago now that I had kind of forgotten about it until it came into view again on Facebook.

And it reminds me that I really do live in a fishbowl even when I don't want to.